Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
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