I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
