Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
