i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
