90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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