I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Randomize
