check it out our google latitudes are spooning
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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