btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Randomize
