Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
