I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
