Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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