Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
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