Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
