I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Randomize
