You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
