I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize