We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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