my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
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