I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
