According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
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