I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
