Yo dont text me then not text me
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
