The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
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