I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize