On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
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