he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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