Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
