If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
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