We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
