do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
