Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
So drunk its hurt
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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