White coat. Heels.
im six kinds of drunk right now
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Randomize
