After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize