I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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