Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
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