the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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