i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
