You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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