oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
