He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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