I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
