She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
