my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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