i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
