Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
