if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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