Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
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