no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
It's rum buckets o'clock
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
