I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
