Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
tell your sister to shave her snatch
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
send nudes
from the living room?
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
