I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
