i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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