oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
