I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
