I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
