C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
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