Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Randomize
