I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
