? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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